...play it!



When a Fag Has a Falling Out With His Hag...
Monday, March 03, 2008

it's not pretty.

As Margaret Cho puts it:
“I love the word "faggot," because it describes my kind of guy. You see, I am a fag hag. Fag hags are the backbone of the gay community. Without us, you're nothing! We have been there all through history guiding your sorry ass through the underground railroad! ...We went to the prom with you.”

Personally, I don't like the word "faggot". It just seems so derogatory. But when I say fag hag, you all know what I'm talking about.

So, I have this friend who is a gay male. I also have this female friend who spent a lot of time with said male. It all started out in a strange manner.....(cue dreamy music)

We all started school together. The male (who I will call Will) and female (who I will call Grace) were placed in the same working group. I was in another. We took a field trip at the beginning of the year, where I met both individuals during a hike. We hit it off, and we all became friends.

Well, Grace came to me one day and told me she was crushing on Will. I was like, "ummm....I think he's gay." Granted, I have horrible gay-dar, so I wasn't totally sure. But just talk to Will and you kind of get the idea that he may be partial to the same sex. Grace is in denial and tries to provide reasons she thinks that Will is straight. She obsessed all weekend about Will and was bothering me while I was studying. No one bothers em when she's studying! So, I texted Will and asked him if he's dating a guy or has dated a guy....kind of an ambush...but I was fed up. He texts back in a joking manner, not really admitting it. But I knew the truth.

Grace was still not convinced at this point. She was consumed all weekend with this "dilemma"...which I believed was a non-issue. Finally, she gave in and asked Will. He told her that he, in fact, was gay and that he was dating a friend we had met a few weeks earlier. This seemed to convince her...finally. I don't know if she was embarrassed or what, but she started telling me that she knew all along and should have gone with her instincts. Maybe she was hurt.

After these events, things seemed to change. Will and Grace became the best of friends. They went everywhere together, did everything together, and spoke for each other. Grace even went along with Will when he was hanging out with his new man. It was an interesting dynamic. I started calling them a married couple...which it seemed like they were...except for the fact that they lived apart...and he is gay...but you get the point.

Then, recently, I notice that Will and Grace are not hanging out as much together. Grace confides in me. She is very upset. And she tells me that Will has been excluding her from events and activities and not answering her texts/calls at times. She felt that she was being replaced or just denied. I haven't heard the point of view from Will, but things do not seem good.

Grace stopped eating for a while because she was so distraught. She moped around. Will became bitchy. Grace wouldn't tell Will what was bothering her....so she would tell it all to me! Now, I'm a believer that communication is key to any relationship. If something is bothering you, you tell the person who is the cause of the problem. Grace kept telling me that telling Will wouldn't change anything because Will is insensitive to others' feelings. Well, it may be true to some extent, but I would hope that he would be responsive to a close friend's feelings. All along, I was thinking to myself, "Is Grace in love with Will? Did there time together just strengthen Grace's feelings for Will? Can a hag fall in love with her fag?"

Grace continued with her shenanigans. But, finally, she gave in one day and wrote Will and email (although she sits right next to him in class. that's what we do...message each other and surf the net when class is boring). It took a while, but he responded. I'm not sure what Will's email said, but it seemed to be somewhere along the lines of saying that it would take time to make things normal.

::sigh::

So, that is how things stand at the moment. The group of friends has been torn apart from this drama between the fag and his hag. We walk on eggshells, determined not to disrupt the environment any further. In the words of Rodney King, "Can we all just get along?"

I'm not one to take sides on issues such as these. I'm like Switzerland...I tend to stay neutral.

But I will say this....
dramatic fag + dramatic hag = not a good outcome

Hopefully, things will clear up soon. I need to study, dammit! But I guess this is all the drama and I'll get in my humdrum life in med school.

Has the marriage come to an end? What will happen with Will? What will happen with Grace? Will the group remain friends in the end? hmmmm

TO BE CONTINUED...?




(oh...by the way...how are you?!?!)

posted by em @ 10:34 AM,




Transitioning from 2007 to 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008

A (very) Belated Happy New Year!!!

It's hard to believe that we've already made it through a month in the year 2008! Time seems to fly by.

Prior to Christmas, I was fortunate enough to attend an amazing concert! Ingrid Michaelson opened the show...she was pretty good! Then Brandi Carlile came on stage. The Indigo Girls performed with Brandi Carlile. And KT Tunstall closed it out. It was an awesome show. Worth staying up after a long day of exams! haha

Christmas was spent with the family....and relaxing (if you can believe that!). Although I was fearing family drama, it was pretty tame this year. However, I did cause somewhat of a stir before I left home. I finally came out to my mother! She took it kinda well. But there was a period of time when she didn't call me. Luckily, I have a very supportive and loving aunt who was willing to talk some sense into my mother. So things are going well now, but we haven't discussed my relationships. It was just a great relief to finally let them know.

I spent New Year's in DC with great friends and the lady. It was a low-key celebration....you know....drinking at a friend's house and passing out there instead of driving while intoxicated. We were being responsible ;-)

It was back to school after that. And back to the same old rigorous studying. But it's fun.

I've been giving mini-performances for friends and colleagues. But nothing like performing at an open mic. I was hoping to, but it's hard to find time to prepare and perform. So, this will have to suffice.

Currently, I'm listening to Sia's new album, "Some People Have Real Problems". It's excellent! I'm hoping to get Sarah Betten's new album soon.

Hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's celebration! (although it's kinda late) Superbowl's this weekend in AZ! Should be fun! (too bad I can't get tickets....and that I don't really like football) But it gives us all a reason to drink and act crazy. So have fun!!!

posted by em @ 11:57 PM,




I'm Still Alive
Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I don't know if anyone checks in on this blog anymore. It has been a while!

Life has been totally different since I started medical school. What I thought was a busy schedule before does not even compare to how things are now!

I can honestly say that medical school is the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life! (...well maybe with the exception of birth....but this is the hardest thing I can remember) My 'fun' life has been shown the door. Every day begins either 8am or 7am (but I try to get to school about an hour early). We sit in lectures for hours. We have cases to work on. We have assignments to accomplish. We also have lab days when we learn how to interact with patients and how to do different exams. We also learn treatment techniques...that focus on the bones and muscles. We do some massage-type treatment, but we got more into depth on different techniques that relieve other disorders and symptoms. Anatomy labs are ok...we don't have to cut open any bodies...and I'm ok with that. After I'm done with classes (which can be noon, 3pm, 5pm...depending on the day), I go study until it's time to go to bed. It's kind of depressing that I have no life. But I try to find some time to strum my guitar or hang out with new friends.

Although it's hard work, it's kind of fun. I always like learning new things...and I've learned so much, already! I sit around diagnosing myself and my friends with rare diseases...that we clearly don't have. I can treat people already (with some stuff). We have exams every two weeks. I've been passing (so that's a plus!).

I've had some time to check out the area, but not too much. I've gone to a couple of lesbian clubs, but they're much different from those in DC. The people here are different, as well. The college town nearby is ok for going out every once in a while. The weather is great! It's snowing in DC, but it's in the mid-70's here! Makes great running weather (if the sun didn't set so early...but the sunsets/sunrises are gorgeous!).

There aren't many artists that come through this area...at least none that I know. However, Brandi Carlile was here a couple of months ago. So, I went to see her perform. It was great...as usual. I was back in DC for Thanksgiving, and I finally got to see Tegan and Sara in concert! That was a good show. I'm hoping to catch more concerts when I can. But I haven't been able to keep up with new music. Some recent purchases:
Missy Higgins -- On a Clear Night
Paolo Nutini -- These Streets
James Morrison -- Undiscovered
Feist -- The Reminder
Tegan and Sara -- The Con
A Fine Frenzy -- One Cell in the Sea
hhmmm...some others?

If you're reading this and have some good music suggestions, I would be forever grateful! I'll try to post every now and then (as I am now...while sitting in class...with a lecturer who is just too boring to listen to). Hope that all is well in Kelkaland!


one of the disorders we learned about is achondroplasia. it causes dwarfism. some of the kids are just too cute, like this one!

posted by em @ 12:44 PM,




Arizona
Saturday, August 11, 2007

I made it to my new home in Arizona....about 2 weeks ago. I shipped my belongings, packed my car to the rim, and drove from DC. It took about 3.5 days of driving, but I arrived in one piece.

There were a few stops along the way...including Nashville, Memphis, Oklahoma City, Amarillo, and Albuquerque. I'll have to say that New Mexico was the best part of my drive...it was just soooo beautiful! I wish I had more time to stop at more sites, but I had to get here to start my orientations. I arrived to my new apartment on Thursday, unloaded the car, unpacked a few things, bought some furniture, etc., etc. I ended up getting sick on that Saturday...I guess I was tired...and probably dehydrated. It's freakin hot here!

Orientations began that Monday. Met a fellow lesbian in the class. My parents arrived that evening. More orientations during the week. And I received my white coat...which was pretty exciting.

Classes began last Monday. It wasn't too bad since it's just starting. Plus, we spent Wednesday - Friday on a field trip! Who would have thought I'd be on a field trip in medical school! haha We went to Montezuma's Castle (which was disappointing since it was so deteriorated), a new clinic site in Flagstaff, and the Grand Canyon. We didn't have much time at the canyon, but it was so beautiful. I'm definitely going back there. And we drove through Sedona....which is beautiful as well.

Now it's time to jump into the hard stuff. We have plenty of readings to keep us busy through the weekend. Just decided to take a break and add a new posting. Plus...everyone loves pictures! So here are a few from my travels. Enjoy!!!








Left: Beale Street - Memphis, TN
Right: Got my kicks, on Route 66!









Left: Driving through New Mexico
Right: Arizona









Left: Montezuma's Castle
Right: Grand Canyon

posted by em @ 8:33 PM,




Busy Bee
Friday, July 13, 2007

I've, still, been keeping busy over the last few weeks.

I went hiking with a few friends in the Shenandoah National Park. It was a little overcast that day, but that made it better (cooler). We saw a baby black bear at the beginning of the hike. We moved away quickly...cause where there's a baby, there's always a momma. This hike was kind of difficult. We had about a mile of rock scrambles and lots of rough terrain. But it was great to reach the summit. There was a Catholic group holding mass at the summit. My friends and I just sat to the side and enjoyed a little lunch while they were chanting /praying or whatever. Here's the view:

I've also been enjoying sports as a spectator. A big group of friends went to a Mystics game. And I went to my first baseball game and soccer game. It was fun. There was lightning during the soccer game, so we were corralled in the concourse of the stadium. DC United won that game...good times. There are a bunch of rowdy soccer fans! I wonder how it will be now that Beckham is in the States.




Other activities include volunteering (a Habitat for Humanity build in the pouring rain...nice and muddy). Gave blood on the 4th of July....not smart because I couldn't drink for a few hours. ;-) A little mini golf and batting cage action. And kayaing. Here's one pic from the kayak:



I also had the chance to catch Rodrigo y Gabriela in Baltimore. They are amazing! It's crazy to see them live....I can't believe how fast their hands move! Good stuff.

But, sadly, I'll be leaving DC in a little over a week. I can't believe how fast time is slipping away. My final open mic night is this Sunday. I'll actually be co-hosting the event with my friend since Mara Levi will be performing in NYC.

Oh, and my friends are throwing me a 'surprise' going-away party today. They chose the wrong person to coordinate the event and invite me....because I can always read her face. She can't lie to me. And I hate surprises. Oh well, I guess I'll act surprised. Or just not show up...hahahaha

Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! Be safe and Have fun!

posted by em @ 1:05 PM,




Gaytastic
Wednesday, June 20, 2007

DC Pride was just fabulous. It started off with a bang at a bar called Tom Tom. I saw just about everyone out there. We danced and drank the night away!

My friends put together the Dyke March that Saturday, so I was out there showing my support (wandering around Dupont). We drank alllll day and were having a great time during the parade. Then we drank some more and some more. They had a huge party at this club called Love. I’ve been there a few times, and it’s always fun. But I guess the drinks and heat from the day were getting to me, so I went home early.

The next day was the festival. It was more fun than last year since I was more relaxed and had a bunch of friends and acquaintances there. I went with one of my friends and met up with her new girlfriend. Mistake. They were all huggy and kissy, so I just had to leave. Grabbed a drink at the beer cage. Grabbed another one. Then my other friends started showing up. That made it much better. My friend, Mara Levi, performed on the big stage. It was awesome seeing her up there in front of the capitol. Overall, it was a good Pride.

I’ve just been keeping busy and trying to keep my mind off of things. Grilling out at friends’ houses, hanging out, having fun. It’s all making it harder to think about leaving this place and these great people. We watched the Spurs kick ass in the NBA Finals against the Cavaliers. I went to a Korean Film Festival screening for a movie called The Grace Lee Project. It was highly entertaining, and I recommend it to everyone.

Last weekend, I went kayaking on the Potomac. It’s a great arm and back workout! I also volunteered at the Waterfront Festival in Arlington. The Red Cross put on this festival with rides, games, food, music, etc. I worked the beer tent, checking ID’s (saw an alarming number of lesbians ;-)). To my dismay, we couldn’t drink on the job. But it was fun volunteering with some friends. Toby Lightman and Bowling for Soup performed (wasn’t very impressed with either).

Sunday was an awesome day. I skipped out on this month's open mic to go to the True Colors Tour! The Gossip started it off. I also got to see Erasure, The Dresden Dolls, Margaret Cho, Rosie O’Donnell, Debbie Harry, Rufus Wainwright and (of course) Cyndi Lauper! Debbie Harry, actually, kinda sucked. But everything else was awwweeeessssooommmee! I had so much fun. I went with another couple and one of my friends (who I’ve been crushing on as of late…but that will go nowhere since I’ll be leaving soon….and I’m a dork). But it was good times.

So, this week, I’ve just been keeping busy with work and volunteering. Things are still rocky with the breakup, but I’m hoping for things to get better soon. ‘Girls just wanna have fun!’

Have fun everyone!






posted by em @ 11:47 AM,




Long-awaited Update
Wednesday, June 06, 2007

It's been too long since I've updated. A lot has happened during that time...


I've graduated (unofficially) from graduate school. The whole family came up for the ceremonies...that was a crazy weekend. It was filled with ceremonies, tours, dinners, a flag football game, and an open mic. But it was pretty cool that we got our first win of the season that weekend when my family was there to support us.



I haven't officially graduated since I have to finish up this practicum. So I've been working as a health intern for a social service organization. It's crap! haha Well, it's not that bad. I'm just not the type to sit in an office from 9 to 5. I'd much rather be out there doing stuff.



Moving plans are coming along slowly. I guess I better get on it since I have to leave next month for Arizona! Time sure does fly!



This weekend is Pride in DC. It should be fun since I've met so many lesbians over the past year. We always have a great time together. I plan to get out there and just have fun (...now that I'm single). Yes, the gf and I broke up. We just figured it won't work out since I'll be moving across the country, and I'll basically have no time. It really hurts and stinks to break up when no one really did anything 'wrong'. But it is what it is...



Hope that all is well for you loyal blog watchers. And enjoy your PRIDE!


posted by em @ 1:33 PM,