When a Fag Has a Falling Out With His Hag...
Monday, March 03, 2008
it's not pretty.
As Margaret Cho puts it:
“I love the word "faggot," because it describes my kind of guy. You see, I am a fag hag. Fag hags are the backbone of the gay community. Without us, you're nothing! We have been there all through history guiding your sorry ass through the underground railroad! ...We went to the prom with you.”
Personally, I don't like the word "faggot". It just seems so derogatory. But when I say fag hag, you all know what I'm talking about.
So, I have this friend who is a gay male. I also have this female friend who spent a lot of time with said male. It all started out in a strange manner.....(cue dreamy music)
We all started school together. The male (who I will call Will) and female (who I will call Grace) were placed in the same working group. I was in another. We took a field trip at the beginning of the year, where I met both individuals during a hike. We hit it off, and we all became friends.
Well, Grace came to me one day and told me she was crushing on Will. I was like, "ummm....I think he's gay." Granted, I have horrible gay-dar, so I wasn't totally sure. But just talk to Will and you kind of get the idea that he may be partial to the same sex. Grace is in denial and tries to provide reasons she thinks that Will is straight. She obsessed all weekend about Will and was bothering me while I was studying. No one bothers em when she's studying! So, I texted Will and asked him if he's dating a guy or has dated a guy....kind of an ambush...but I was fed up. He texts back in a joking manner, not really admitting it. But I knew the truth.
Grace was still not convinced at this point. She was consumed all weekend with this "dilemma"...which I believed was a non-issue. Finally, she gave in and asked Will. He told her that he, in fact, was gay and that he was dating a friend we had met a few weeks earlier. This seemed to convince her...finally. I don't know if she was embarrassed or what, but she started telling me that she knew all along and should have gone with her instincts. Maybe she was hurt.
After these events, things seemed to change. Will and Grace became the best of friends. They went everywhere together, did everything together, and spoke for each other. Grace even went along with Will when he was hanging out with his new man. It was an interesting dynamic. I started calling them a married couple...which it seemed like they were...except for the fact that they lived apart...and he is gay...but you get the point.
Then, recently, I notice that Will and Grace are not hanging out as much together. Grace confides in me. She is very upset. And she tells me that Will has been excluding her from events and activities and not answering her texts/calls at times. She felt that she was being replaced or just denied. I haven't heard the point of view from Will, but things do not seem good.
Grace stopped eating for a while because she was so distraught. She moped around. Will became bitchy. Grace wouldn't tell Will what was bothering her....so she would tell it all to me! Now, I'm a believer that communication is key to any relationship. If something is bothering you, you tell the person who is the cause of the problem. Grace kept telling me that telling Will wouldn't change anything because Will is insensitive to others' feelings. Well, it may be true to some extent, but I would hope that he would be responsive to a close friend's feelings. All along, I was thinking to myself, "Is Grace in love with Will? Did there time together just strengthen Grace's feelings for Will? Can a hag fall in love with her fag?"
Grace continued with her shenanigans. But, finally, she gave in one day and wrote Will and email (although she sits right next to him in class. that's what we do...message each other and surf the net when class is boring). It took a while, but he responded. I'm not sure what Will's email said, but it seemed to be somewhere along the lines of saying that it would take time to make things normal.
::sigh::
So, that is how things stand at the moment. The group of friends has been torn apart from this drama between the fag and his hag. We walk on eggshells, determined not to disrupt the environment any further. In the words of Rodney King, "Can we all just get along?"
I'm not one to take sides on issues such as these. I'm like Switzerland...I tend to stay neutral.
But I will say this....
dramatic fag + dramatic hag = not a good outcome
Hopefully, things will clear up soon. I need to study, dammit! But I guess this is all the drama and I'll get in my humdrum life in med school.
Has the marriage come to an end? What will happen with Will? What will happen with Grace? Will the group remain friends in the end? hmmmm
TO BE CONTINUED...?
(oh...by the way...how are you?!?!)
posted by em @ 10:34 AM,
